That Empty Space
by GoWashTheLights
Summary: Jamie Forrest always came out all right when he had problems. Always upbeat, looking for the positive. Things change, however, when his friend finally passes away. With things already bad between him and Jonathan, he has no one to look for comfort. Finished!
1. Chapter One

**Author Note:** I've been on a Karl Urban kick lately (love that man) and found one of his early shows, being Shortland Street (old-school, like in the 90's). It's pretty much non-existent here in the states, but the show has me as a fan :) I like all of the characters, the situations they find themselves in - it's more realistic than some of the things we have on now. I thought it was interesting how private, yet complex the Jamie/Jonathan story arc was, and I wished they'd shown more of it. Karl should come back to the show for a bit ;)

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Shortland Street, it's characters, etc.

* * *

Chapter One

* * *

It had to be raining. Jamie stumbled from the pub around two in the morning, and incredible, painful weight in his chest. He'd finally had the decency to call in sick from work, but how had he used it? Drowning his guilt with alcohol. It felt great, too, and reality was starting to fade a little. His friend had died just days ago, and he hadn't even _been _there. Jonathan, that stupid kid - who didn't even care about Damon - had gotten the last word. That was how Jonathan worked; he had to be the one to finish everything. A sob rose up from Jamie's throat, and he realized he couldn't take it. He wouldn't make it until he was home, with the comfort of the sofa and a warm blanket. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he collapsed onto the pavement, feeling the most miserable he'd ever felt. He didn't even care that he was starting to get soaked, or that he hadn't eaten all day. It didn't matter.

"Jamie?"

He almost didn't want to look up. Who wanted to be out here, anyway? With him?

"Jamie..."

He recognized the voice now. His stomach turned as his eyes moved up, and they finally settled on an unwelcome face. Jamie shook his head, looking away and wiping his eyes. "Not you," he mumbled.

"Yeah, _me,_" said Isaac, taking a seat next to him. "What happened?"

"Get away from me." Jamie sobbed, hiding his face. "I'm so angry at you!"

Isaac didn't say anything. He knew he was in trouble - beyond that - and having hurt Jamie had been enough. He never had quite gotten the chance to explain things to his ex, and now didn't seem like the time, either. Carefully, Isaac reached out to take Jamie's hand. Jamie understandingly pulled away, so Isaac waited. He knew that if he waited, he could try again. When he did, Jamie kept his hand still. Eventually, he even wrapped his fingers in with Isaac's.

"I h-hate you," Jamie whispered.

Isaac scooted closer. He rested his head against Jamie's and sighed. "I know."

"...How could you do it? _Why _did you do it?" Jamie asked. Finally, Isaac was able to look at that face. That innocent, loving face. "Why are you here?"

Isaac shrugged. "I...was out. I saw you and couldn't help myself. I missed you, Jamie. I was a fool, you know that. I've made you so miserable."

Jamie only nodded, looking down. Isaac took comfort in the fact that they were still holding hands. He knew it wouldn't last, but he had to hold on until it was the end again. "Come on, Jamie, let's go somewhere to dry off. My place?"

Jamie turned, looking a little incredulous. "Are you serious? _Your _place? Why would you - "

"All right, all right!" Isaac sighed. "I understand - just a suggestion, mate. You'll get sick if you don't take care now, so let's go! Anywhere you want; your choice, Jamie."

Jamie was quiet for a couple of moments. Then he made a face and shook his head to himself. "Why not? They're not in..."

"Where do you want to go?"

"I suppose my place. W-Well, it's not really mine, I'm just a flatmate - "

Isaac smiled, moving to his feet. He pulled Jamie up, finding him a little unsteady. The guy could hold his alcohol, so Isaac wondered just how much he'd exactly had to drink. He wrapped an arm around Jamie's waist. "Sounds great. Will they mind?"

Jamie raised an eyebrow as they began to walk. "You're not staying the night, if that's what you mean."

Isaac couldn't help but laugh. "Just lead the way."

* * *

Talita and Sam pulled up to the house early in the morning, glad to see their house again. It's been a fantastic getaway, but not it was time to settle back into work. At the front step, Sam hesitated in opening the door.

"What?" Asked Talita.

Sam smiled, hugging her. Then he gave her a kiss and said, "You're beautiful, and I'm very lucky."

The two shared a laugh as they made their way through the front door, but ceased almost immediately. Jamie was leaving the bathroom, looking terrible. He was pale and trembling, with circled under his eyes. He barely looked at them before collapsing onto the couch.

"Jamie, what _happened?_" Talita asked, hurrying over. She noticed he'd pulled out the extra comforter. "You look..."

"Hungover?" Came the muffled reply.

"I was going to say! You look like death."

"Hm..." He groaned.

Sam had joined them, and he placed a hand over Jamie's forehead. "You're burnin' up, mate."

"Yeah, I feel that. Took some medicine."

Talita frowned. "But...why do you have a fever? If you only drank last night..."

Jamie sighed quietly. "Was out...in the rain."

The two shared an understanding look. Their friend had been at his lowest since Damon had died, and they'd been worried about leaving him alone. Sam shook his head, leaning on the back of the sofa. "Jamie, what did I tell you? _Don't _drink yourself to death! Hm?" He nudged Jamie until he could get a small laugh out of him. "Right. Did you call in to work?"

"Not yet."

Sam nodded. "On it. Get some rest, okay?"

Jamie gave a sigh in response. Talita stood and followed her husband into the kitchen. The two were quiet for a minute, wondering what had cause Jamie to be out like that. "He must be so depressed," Talita whispered.

"What should we do? Can we even do anything?"

Talita shrugged. "I dunno. You think Jonathan has talked to him?"

"No idea. He hasn't asked me about Jamie at work. I think things have been rough between them."

"You might talk to him about it, Sam," offered Talita. Sam couldn't help but wince a little, which earned him a look. "What's that for?"

"It's just...I don't really _talk _to him about his life."

"You should. He's your friend, and he's helped us out so much. He gave _you _advice, didn't he?"

"Yeah, but Jamie always figures things out. He's smart like that. I needed him, but he doesn't need me."

Talita shook her head. "Not true, Sam. Now is the time that we help him."

Though unkeen about it, Sam didn't want to oppose his wife. He knew she was right, and made a resolution to talk to his friend. Jamie was asleep now, so the couple snuck into their room for a well-needed rest of their own.

* * *

_It's a little short, but I like it so far :) _


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

* * *

Later that evening, there was a knock on the door. Talita had risen first and was in the middle of getting dinner ready. She rinsed her hands, wondering who it could possibly be, and hurried to answer the door. She was a little surprised to see Jonathan. "Hey," she said quietly, as Jamie was still asleep," how can I help you?"

"Is...Jamie here?" He asked.

"Well, he is, but he's resting - he's been ill all day. Can I tell him you stopped by?"

"Oh, y-yeah, sure." Jonathan smiled sheepishly, waving goodbye. He turned to leave, but then he stopped. "Is he okay? I mean, really..."

Talita sighed. "Yeah, I suppose so. He's getting there, but he's really down. You'll have to do something special together when he's ready."

"Sure. Tell him I miss him, all right? It's been no fun at work without him around."

Talita laughed. "Right, I'll let him know. Thanks for coming by, Jon, have a good night." She closed the door, looking at Jamie. He obviously hadn't budged all day, and his face looked a little flushed. At least he wasn't pale anymore.

She'd nearly made it into the kitchen when she heard, "Talita?"

"Oh, are you awake?"

"...Yeah. Been awake for a while." Jamie finally sat up, and Talita stifled a laugh - his hair was a disaster. She looked at the boiling pot in the kitchen - it seemed fine - and moved over to the sofa. She sat, fixing Jamie's hair.

"You look like a right mess," she laughed.

He sort of smiled and nodded. Then his face turned serious. "He's worried, isn't he?"

"Yes. Everyone is, actually."

"I dunno why...I don't deserve it."

"Why not? We love you, Jamie! It hurts seeing you so down. If you need to talk about things, you have people who'll listen - like me."

He nodded again, and his face fell a little. He looked like he was getting emotional. "I...I'm not going to talk to him. I can't face him."

Talita blinked. "What? Why can't you face him? Things aren't _that _bad, are they?"

"I'm afraid so. Talita, I am the worst person I know."

Talita frowned, her mouth dropping open. "Jamie, this doesn't sound like you. What's happened?"

"...I..." He looked down, clearing his throat. "...I cheated on him."

The room fell quiet. Jamie looked back up, looking appalled by his own confession, and he started to cry. Talita extended her arms, hugging him tightly until she could find the words. She wanted to say something great, something comforting, but all that came was, "You...you did?"

"I'm terrible! I did the one thing that ruined my own relationship, and I can never go back!"

"Oh, you can't put this all on yourself! You're already miserable!" Talita sighed deeply. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

"It won't do any good," he mumbled.

"Come on, now. It _will _do good, and you'll feel better. Here," she set the pillow next to her lap and patted it, "tell me. I'm a good listener."

Wiping his eyes, Jamie decided he had no choice. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep it from Jonathan forever, so this was good practice. He rested his head on the pillow and Talita pulled the blanket over his shoulders. "Well," he started, "I guess it's pretty simple. It was last night, and he found me in the rain, outside a pub."

"Who was it?" Talita asked. "Someone you already knew, or...?"

"Oh, yeah. It was Isaac. Of all the people I could have been with it had to be _him!_" Jamie's voice cracked pitifully, and he shuddered with a sob. "I can't believe I was so stupid! It's just, we were _soaked,_ and I brought him here because I didn't want to go to his place. We had a couple of drinks, talked a bit, and...and all of a sudden, he kissed me! Then, one thing led to another, and I just...I lost myself. It was like nothing had happened between us, and I didn't care. I guess it didn't matter, though, because he'd gone before I even woke up. I _hate _myself for being so stupid!"

"No," Talita insisted, patting his shoulder, "you're not stupid. You just...needed someone, that's all. Isaac happened to be there, for whatever reason. Still, perhaps it gives you a little...perspective, doesn't it? Maybe Isaac was feeling just as guilty as you are now, from when he did the same thing."

Jamie winced, but he finally nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. You shouldn't defend either of us, though; we're pathetic."

Talita smiled. "Maybe a little. When you're on your feet again Jonathan wants to see you, and I think you owe at least that much to him. He said that he misses you."

"I heard. He won't miss me so much when I explain everything."

"All right, get up, now," said Talita, rolling her eyes. "I need to finish dinner. The sooner I do, the sooner you can eat - I'll bet you're starving."

Jamie sat up, rubbing his eyes and face. "Actually, I am. Um, Talita?" She was walking away, but he grabbed her hand to stop her. "Don't tell Sam. He already has his thoughts about me. This would probably get me kicked out, or something."

Again, Talita rolled her eyes, and squeezed his hand tightly. "He wouldn't dare. Besides, Sam is...trying to understand. He still doesn't always say the right things, but he's working on it. You might be surprised."

If only Talita knew how right she was. Sam was up just as the table was being set, so he took his place across from Jamie. For a minute, the two were unsure of what to say. Talita hummed away in the kitchen, so Sam decided to take his chance. He cleared his throat. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, I-I am, thanks. How was your trip? I didn't even get to ask." Jamie said.

"Oh, yeah, it was good. It was good..." Sam shook his head, feeling distracted. "Um, listen. I wanted to tell you something."

"Oh?"

"Well, I hope that you won't be angry, but I was...sort of listening in earlier, when you talked to Talita."

Jamie winced. Oh, yes, he was definitely surprised. "You did?"

"When I got up, the bedroom door was open. I didn't want to bother you, so I stayed there."

"...What do you think of it all? I mean, if you're upset - "

Sam shook his head. "No, no, that's not it. I feel bad because you've been having a really rough time. I'm glad you had Talita to talk to - I'm not very good at this."

Jamie was quiet for a minute. The heaviness in his heart was lifting a little more. This behavior coming from Sam Aleni was unexpected, but welcome. "Thanks, Sam."

"W-Well, I just - I want you to know I'm not _mad _about it. A little disappointed, considering things, but not mad. I think you should talk to Jonathan - come clean, you know - and whatever comes after that, you did the right thing."

The two didn't get to say much after that, because Talita came in with dinner. Still, it was enough. Jamie was anxious about fessing up, and when he thought of the reaction Jonathan would have, the guilt ate at him a little more. Then he thought of the words his friends had offered him, the support he had from them, and he felt a little better. By the time the plates were cleared, Jamie knew he had to do it, now or never. He got into some decent clothes, paced a couple of times in front of the phone, and with fumbling fingers, he finally dialed the number.

_"Hello?" _It was Jonathan's mother. _Great._

"Hi, uh, Mrs. McKenna? This is Jamie Forrest."

_"Oh, yes, Jamie." _She sounded disappointed. _"What is it?"_

"W-Well, I was just wondering if Jonathan was in?"

_"Mum, will you just - " _Came an exasperated voice. That was Jonathan.

_"Not now, dear! Er, yes, he's here, but he's a little busy at the moment."_

Jamie couldn't help but roll his eyes. He'd become the center of Jonathan's world, and that unfortunately included his whole family. That meant they knew whenever there were problems, and they were good at making things worse. "Yes, I can understand that," Jamie continued. "I was wondering if, by the time I got there, Jonathan might be finished? I just want to speak with him a few minutes."

There was a pause. _"...I suppose he'll have to be. Come on over, Jamie, he'll be here."_

"Thank you, Mrs. McKenna - "The line had gone dead. Jamie wasn't complaining; he'd gotten his foot in the door, at least. Grabbing his coat, he called 'good night' to Sam and Talita, and hurried out the door.

* * *

"Jon, stop tapping your nails."

"I don't want to. You know you don't have to wait up - we won't be staying here to talk, Mum."

His mother made a face. "Well, the hour is already late, and you have your curfew."

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "One day you'll realize I'm eighteen, and I don't need things like that." She _was _right; it was getting late. Jamie had called almost half-an-hour ago, and it didn't take that long to get here. Jonathan was tempted to just walk out the door and meet him half-way. Five more minutes passed. Being a little anxious, both Jonathan and his mother jumped when the doorbell rang. Mrs. McKenna was closer, but her son was faster. He opened the door and sighed in relief.

"Finally! Let's get out of here!"

"Now, Jon - wait! You don't even - !" His mother called, but it was too late. She shook her head and stormed into the kitchen.

Outside, Jonathan laughed. "She's had it up to here with me! I don't really care, though, a few more months and she can't say a word. So," he looked up at Jamie, "how are you? Feeling better? Talita said you were sick."

"Yeah, I'm all right." That was the response. There wasn't a smile, or anything that told Jonathan that his friend was happy to be here. He frowned.

"Good. So, where should we go?" He went to hold hands with Jamie, who gently pulled away.

"Oh, no," he said. "That got us into trouble last time, remember? I don't want anyone else putting you in the hospital because I..." He trailed off and shook his head. "No. Look, I just...wanted to talk to you."

Something was definitely up. Jonathan didn't really want to give the guy a hard time, what with all that had happened. He nodded. "Got it, then. Let's, um, go over to the park. It's quiet right now, really nice."

Jamie was quiet as they walked over, which also confused Jonathan. If he'd wanted to talk, he wasn't doing a very good job. The two made it halfway through the park before anything was said.

"Jamie, no offense, but I don't really understand."

"Oh, I know, I'm sorry." Jamie shook his head. "I'm just really trying to organize my thoughts. Things have been so messed up lately, and it's tiring me out."

"Well, let's sit down, then. There's a bench here, calling our name." Jonathan smiled, only getting a tiny nod in response. He realized that Jamie hadn't fully looked at him since he'd arrived at the house. They took a seat, and Jonathan reached out to him. Again, he pulled away. "Jamie," he chided softly, "no one's even around. Why can't I hold your hand?"

"It's not _that. _It's...me. It's because of me."

It seemed that patience would be thing to focus on the most, tonight. Jonathan leaned on the back of the bench, waiting. "Okay. Tell me what's on your mind."

Jamie looked intently at the ground. He seemed ashamed as he locked and unlocked his fingers. "I haven't been..." He sighed. "I'm so sorry, Jonathan."

"Why are you sorry?" Jonathan asked, laughing a little. "Just tell me what's wrong."

"I...I haven't been loyal, t-to you." Jamie glanced at him once, but it was obviously too much. "I've been unfaithful to you."

Jonathan was quiet. He had to admit, he hadn't expected to hear that. Jamie had just confessed infidelity to him, and he didn't know what to say. As the silence went on, he realized the feeling of hurt, of confusion. Why would Jamie do this, when he'd gone through the same thing? All he could mutter was, "Oh."

"I was _so _weak." Jamie continued. "I've been so depressed since Damon died, and I should have come to you. It's just, things have been so odd between us, and I was frustrated. I should have stayed with you so I didn't...make the mistake."

It would be so easy to walk away now. To leave Jamie here would be hard on him, and probably something he deserved. The temptation was overwhelming, and Jonathan played out one day in particular from his mind. He'd come to Jamie after his breakup, brought him flowers, and had offered comfort. _He _had been the one, and now the shoe was on the other foot. He couldn't believe how bad it was starting to feel, and was surprised to find himself standing. Jamie was looking up at him with alarm, yet understanding. He wouldn't made a fuss if Jonathan walked.

Jonathan just...couldn't do it. Maybe he'd changed in the last few months. Maybe he was tired of running away from their problems. Perhaps, he was just really starting to fall for Jamie, and nothing else mattered. Whatever it was, it was keeping him there. He finally sat back down, and firmly took Jamie's hand.

"Okay," he said. "So, you were with someone else."

"Y-Yes."

"...Will you tell me who it was?"

A pained look crossed Jamie's face, and he glanced away. "I'd rather not. Please, don't make me tell you."

"All right," Jonathan said after a pause. He didn't know everyone in Jamie's life, but he knew it would have been someone close. "I guess it doesn't matter now. I forgive you, Jamie."

"...You do?"

Jonathan shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, it was just a...a moment of weakness, like you said. Do you feel like it'd happen again with this person?" Jamie shook his head fervently. "What about anyone else?"

Again, Jamie's head moved side to side, ashamed. "No. I never want to put myself in this place again. I can't tell you how sick I feel, and I've hurt you, badly."

"It's okay. I know I've probably made you feel the same way. I know you want commitment, and I wasn't giving that to you when you needed it."

"That's the thing, isn't it?" Jamie laughed bitterly, and wiped at his eyes. Jonathan's stomach dropped a little; he'd never seen Jamie cry. "I told you that I needed it, and I couldn't do the same. I was stupid, and I should have been more careful. I'm terrible, Jonathan."

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "No, you're not, so don't say it again. You're a great person, and you've helped me with rough things. You didn't give up on me when we first met, when I was making a fool of myself. Why would I do that to you?"

An awed expression washed over Jamie's face. He smiled in relief as he looked at Jonathan. "I don't deserve you, you know that? I didn't think you'd be so forgiving."

Jonathan moved closer, sliding his arm around Jamie's waist. "Shows how well you know me." He leaned in all the way and kissed Jamie, firmly and seriously. He only hoped it could tell Jamie how he was feeling right now. As he pulled away, he laughed. "By the way, you _do _deserve me. Give yourself some credit, Jamie."

Jamie laughed, too. He rested his head against Jonathan's and sighed. "I'm glad I have you in my life. Being with you makes sense, you know?"

Jonathan only smiled and kissed him again.

* * *

_And that's the end. I really do wish that they'd gone further into this relationship, kept it going, but sadly, the two went separate ways far too quickly. Well, thanks for reading! _


End file.
